The Epic Bandsaw Adventure
Tonight, T-Spazz and I embarked on an adventure of infinitely awesome magnitude.
It started, as most such adventures will, with The Bad Idea. The implementation requires a certain level of commitment, financial as well as spiritual. Having already acquired via modern means, aka the internet, most of the small tools, safety gear and material supplies necessary to embark on our digit-endangering plan, it was time to really buckle down and plunk down some serious cash on a rusty old piece of second hand large, dangerous machinery.
In other words, we bought a bandsaw.
Actually, T-Spazz bought it, I just facilitated. T-Spazz did all of the shady back alley craigslist dealings, coming out the winner after a ferocious bandsaw underbidding price war and picking one up for half price. I was her bandsaw butch, there to look all menacing in my Carhartt shirt so we didn’t get stabbed or slowly chopped into bits on a bandsaw or whatever, and carry heavy things.
And so we piled into her car for a road trip to pick up her illicit woodworking tools from parts unknown.
After a surprisingly uneventful, for us, drive out, we found the address and knocked on the door. Our first bump in the road came in the form of a confused Turkish couple, who had no idea why we were at their door. Uh oh.
By repeating the word “bandsaw” about twelve times, we got the point across that we were, in fact, here to purchase their bandsaw that they were, in fact, selling via the internet. We were then paraded through the house and into the basement.
This is where my part really came through. I shined in that moment. I am proud to say that we were not, in fact, murdered and hacked to bits in that basement. I take full credit for our continued survival in the face of buying stuff from strangers from craigslist.
We came through victorious, and purchased the heck out of that band saw! We even made sure it worked first. Of course, it was missing the safety key, which the seller hadn’t mentioned, so it was off to Sears to buy a new one. And hey, while we’re already there, why not get a new less-rusty finer-toothed blade as well. Scope of project growing? Oh yes, Bad Ideas all around.
After failing to find a bandsaw blade that struck our fancy but succeeding in buying a safety key in cheerful happy “don’t chop your fingers off” Sears safety yellow, hunger struck like a vicious stomach weasel and took our evening on yet another new course.
Chinese food is pretty innocuous, but it did mean we didn’t arrive home until 9PM, from a task that should have had us back by 7 at the latest. Also, it came with free tea, which as we discussed, makes it seem so innocent. Free tea seems like it should contain very low levels of caffeine. This is not true. This is so far from the truth that it is laughable, and yet both T-Spazz and myself fall prey to the misconception. Between the two of us, we finished the whole pot, which was not a bad idea but a terrible one.
Quote of the night:
“I bet they’ve seen people who can’t math before.”
“yes but I bet they weren’t PhDs in Engineering.”
T-Spazz is now setting up the safety gear and large blocks of wood on my dining room table. It is going to be quite an evening.